The 3 pillars of happiness

Want to know the secrets to finding happiness within yourself? For how to accept yourself for who you are, change your outlook on life and find inner peace?

Then this is guide to the ‘3 Pillars of Happiness’ is for you!

There’s no denying there’s a lot of horrible things going on in the world, from genocide to people starving and natural disasters, but we need to look at perspective.

The generations before us went through world wars, famines, plagues and all these horrific events, and the reality is there’s never been a better time to be alive.

There’s so much opportunity out there, you can go and see the world, create something from nothing, or live any life that you want.

The world is filled with endless possibilities, but what are people doing instead…complaining.

Just scroll down your newsfeed and it is complaint, after complaint, after complaint, and this negativity and victim mentality is consuming those around us.

I know at times life can be tough, there’s bills to pay, things aren’t going according to plan and you’re stressed at work, where everything is spiralling out of control and it’s a never-ending battle just to make it through the day.

But do you know how amazing it is that you are alive right now? That you are living, you’re breathing, that you were even created and born?

Do you know what the odds of that happening even are?

Because its 3 trillion to 1!

Yes, 3 trillion to 1!

Which when you think about it, is both amazing and insane.

The unfortunate reality though is that many people are going to wake up at 75 and look back at the life they could have lived, the chances they could have taken and be left thinking ‘what if’.

And do you know what for me is scarier than failure? Than judgement? Than making a mistake? Than getting it wrong or not fitting in?


That’s why we need to start living our lives, making the most of each and everyday, laughing, smiling and learning to cherish this gift.

If something is holding you back, stopping you from feeling fulfilled or becoming who you are meant to be, then it needs to go.

Because the one thing we can never get back is time, and every minute wasted focusing on the past, on what we can’t change, is out of our control, or is placing us in a negative state is a minute we can never get back.

Sure, things may not be perfect, but nothing ever is, so what is stopping us from embracing the imperfect?

That’s why I want to share with you what are for me the 3 pillars of happiness, as when you embody these pillars as the foundation of who you are, that’s how you silence that voice in the back of your head, you overcome the self-doubt, you let go of the past, reignite your confidence in who you are, and find happiness within yourself.

Pillar 1: Gratitude

It’s so easy to get caught up in the negatives, of what we want, what we don’t have and everything going wrong, that we rarely stop to think about what’s going right.

That negativity can very quickly take control of how we feel, and the problem is when you focus on something, that’s what you get more of in your life.

As part of my ‘Reconstruct a Better You’ programme I developed a process called ‘Thought Reversal’ to reverse the thoughts and stories in our head, to help people change the way they think and feel about themselves and put them back in control of who they are.

One of the steps in that process is getting the ladies on the programme to practice gratitude every day.

You see, the way most people start their days is to wake up, rush around, try and sort the family and if they are lucky grab a bite to eat, before they head to work or start to tackle the million things on their never ending to do list.

The problem with that though is that when you start your day in a heightened state, you carry that energy with you, and it is only a matter of time before stress, other people, events or just life push you over the edge.

That’s why instead by taking a few moments each morning to practice gratitude, to focus on who you are, what you have and those around you will put you in a positive state, which will then allow you to take that mindset and energy with you into your day, making you far more resilient to the challenges that life throws your way.

Pillar 2: Self-awareness

Often the root cause of unhappiness can stem from feelings of being unfulfilled, not knowing who we are, what we are doing and being controlled by the past. Keeping us living in a world of fear, settling and holding us back from living the life that we want.

It’s easy to get trapped playing the same old thoughts and stories in our head and letting the beliefs that come along with them define us, causing us to take on the identity that those beliefs are who we are. When in reality, those beliefs are merely stories in our head, brought on by our thoughts, experiences, events, environments, and people around us.

That’s why if you truly want to move forward, you need complete self-awareness.

I’ll give you an example:

Throughout our lives failure is inevitable, it is impossible to always succeed or get everything right. For many people though, that fear of failure is holding them back from pushing themselves, from moving forward and truly taking hold of the life they want. They let their past define their future, rather than focusing on the possibilities of the changes they could make.

So rather than focusing on what could we wrong, you need to find your passion, what lights a fire under you and makes you excited to wake up everyday, and focus on that. Find a way to make it happen, to make that who you are and you will live a far more fulfilled and happy life.

But how do you do that?

We need to assess our lives, our thoughts and our feelings, see what is missing, where our focus is and what is holding us back. From there it’s essential to get clear on who we want to become, and work out what we need to do to close the gap.

Then from there it comes down to building on it everyday, shattering the beliefs about what we can and can’t do, letting go of experiences and moments in our lives that we are still clinging onto but can’t change and accepting ourselves for who we are.

Pillar 3: Empathy

Everyone has their own demons they are fighting and that are potentially tearing them apart inside, and often our society is far too quick to judge.

While that judgment is often down to fear of something different, not understanding, jealousy, resentment or generally being a douche, again it is placing yourself in a negative state of mind.

At the end of the day as long as what others are doing isn’t hurting anyone else it is not our place to be getting involved, as all doing so does is causes anger, conflict, disputes, fear and feelings of negativity, which drains our happiness, positivity and feelings about the world around us.

Instead we need to take a moment to see life from other people’s perspectives, to think about how they may be feeling and understand what they are going through.

Empathy is such a strong yet overlooked aspect of life, and by becoming empathetic you open yourself up to a whole new reality, where you can embrace caring and understanding, look at life in a different light and change your perception of those around you. Making you more approachable, likeable and happier in who you are.

Closing thoughts

The reality is this world would be a far happier place if more people were in tune with who they are, if they were grateful, self-aware and had empathy for those around them.

These 3 pillars play a big role in the process of ‘Thought Reversal’, which is all about changing the way you think and feel about yourself, reigniting your confidence and self-belief and empowering you to let go of the past.

So what I’ve done is taken the process of ‘Thought Reversal’ and created a video training to help you get this shift within yourself.

Breaking it down into a simple and easy to follow way, and showing you exactly how to take back control of your life, health and happiness.

To get the video series simple enter your email below and it’ll be sent straight to your inbox!

I’d love to know your thoughts…

Leave your comments and questions below.


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