Yesterday I heard a ‘life’ coach go on about how his approach to help people become more confident was to get them to tell themselves they are confident 100 times a day for a month.
Where do these people come up with this tripe?
Because do you really think someone who is actually confident, successful and happy stands in front of a mirror desperately trying to convince themselves that they are?
Didn’t think so.
The problem with all these approaches is they’re a conscious action, whereas the doubts, fears, anxiety and negative thoughts are programmed into your unconscious mind.
So sure, they may give a short time dopamine hit where you believe it for a few seconds…
But…as soon as you hit a setback or that affirmation is challenged, you’ll crack faster than Donald Trump’s attorney under questioning.
The reason why is you can tell yourself you’re confident till you’re blue in the face, but if you DON’T actually believe it or have ingrained believes that sabotage these thoughts, you’ll never change the stories in your head.
The way I help clients unlock unstoppable confidence is by using a process called Self-Belief Rewiring in Step 3 of my Reignite Method.
You see, by getting to the root cause of why they think and feel the way they do, we can understand what has happened in their life to get them to take on this belief, and why it is holding them back.
By doing so, we can then permanently remove that belief, as they change the way the think and feel about themselves and reversing the thoughts and stories in their head.
THIS is how we get someone to become truly confident, rather than just getting them to fake it in the hope that it sticks.
Something like that is out of the realm of that $9.95 Udemy Life Coaching course or for the person who spent too much time on YouTube watching motivational videos.
That’s why instead all these self-proclaimed ‘gurus’ harp on with their feel good fluff, as this mumbo jumbo gives people that instant gratification dopamine hit, making it an easy sell for their ‘course’ or latest book.
All of which in the grand scheme of things, is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.